Moms Versus Man-haters: Jordan Peterson and Motherhood #3

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Disdain for Men Becoming Mainstream

2018 was a bad year for men.  The #Metoo movement and Kavanaugh hearings have been bad publicity for masculinity. It seems that “man-hating” has now been normalized.  You know it’s a toxic environment for men when a sitting U.S. senator says of recent controversies, “Who is perpetuating all of these kinds of actions? It’s the men in this country. And I just want to say to the men in this country: just SHUT UP and STEP UP, do the right thing for a change.”  That’s harsh.

Looking at my life, I am surrounded by good men who work hard, love their families, and do so with very little recognition.  The vast majority of men are just everyday guys who don’t get any glory.  Many of the women marching in the streets fail to see the weaknesses of our own sex and the strengths in the opposite. The truth is we are all capable of evil and goodness. The world is not as black-and-white as protesters like to imagine.  Boys are hearing a very destructive message in today’s culture. 

However there are also a lot of men falling short and many women have good reason for their prejudice.  There are abusive husbands, power-hungry leaders, and shiftless young men.  We should not give these men a pass for their failures- and we will discuss the female side of the issue in another post.  However, as society becomes increasingly hostile towards men’s natural proclivities and traditional roles, boys take note.  Boys who do not feel respected tend to disengage.  What we are seeing is a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Jordan Peterson is on the front lines.  He isn’t simply sympathizing with young men, he is giving them a clear path out of nihilism and self-pity.   In one of his Biblical lectures JBP emotionally stated, “Its necessary for men to stand up and take responsibility, and they all know that and are starving for that message.  And the message is more, that that is a good thing – to stand up and take responsibility.  Because now you are cursed from a young age with the notion that you’re part of what is wrong with the world and you’re adding to the tyranny of the social systems…that is soul deadening; its anti-human.  My sense is instead, if you were able to reveal the best of yourself in the world then you would be an overwhelming force for good.”

Jordan Peterson’s rise to fame was upon the backs of starving young men. He is the father-figure many have never had. In interviews he often gets broken-up speaking about the plight of young men in society.  This extremely emotional five- minute clip shows his genuine concern for them.

Feminists Attack

Jordan Peterson is constantly on the defensive concerning the “patriarchy”.  Feminist extremists see him as the leader of the evil gang of men oppressing women at every opportunity.  But this is not the way the world works. As JBP explains; men and women have had unique roles throughout human history but they have, by and large, worked together to overcome great suffering.  Nonetheless, it is difficult for modern feminists, many of whom have not themselves seen a family structure involving good stable men, to shake this idea that all suffering in the world is a result of the oppression of wicked men.

“And if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of.” Jordan Peterson

In a GQ interview the feminist interviewer stated, “The patriarchy is a system of male dominance…the fact is that the vast majority of wealth is owned by men, and the vast majority of capital by men.”  Jordan Peterson responded, “You are talking about a very tiny proportion of men. (The fact is) a huge proportion of people seriously disaffected are men, most people in prison are men, most people who are on the streets are men, most victims of violent of crime are men, most people who commit suicide are men, most people who die in wars are men, people who do worse at school are men.  Where is the dominance here precisely? What you’re doing is taking a tiny substrata of hyper- successful men and using that to represent the entire structure of western society. There is nothing about that that is vaguely appropriate.”

You Hate What you Don’t Understand

JP discusses the most statistically significant differences between genders:

  1. Men are more interested in ideas and women in people.  
  2. Men are more aggressive and women more agreeable.
  3. Men are less emotional/neurotic and women tend to be more emotional/neurotic.

I find it fascinating that these main differences are all related to the three most hot-button issues and buzzwords for feminists:

  1. Patriarchy = Men are more interested in ideas (inventing is potentially more “prestigious” than teaching).
  2. Toxic Masculinity = Men want respect – and will use aggression to get it – and women want to be loved.
  3. Rape Culture = Women view sex more emotionally than men and this can cause conflicting expectations/traumatic experiences.  (Of course rape is far too common, but is still seen as a great evil.)

A lot of the anger you see from feminists toward men comes from a misunderstanding or compassion for the inner world of men. Rather than harnessing their innate feminine traits to show empathy and nurture, these women demonstrate the very traits they detest in the opposite sex: aggression and indifference.

Sane Women’s Appreciation vs Men-Hater’s Bitterness

So let’s just take a look at the differing perspectives on men from appreciative wives and mothers versus man-hating feminists, assuming evil intent in every male-action.

Thanks to the millions of men who died in wars to protect our freedom.

It was men who started them; women rulers would usher in utopia.

Thanks for doing all the manual labor and dangerous jobs that women can’t or don’t want to do. Girls interests are socially constructed by the patriarchy because men want to keep their “boys club”. If men are stronger it is only because historically they stole all the meat from women (real feminist theory).
Sorry for the burden of hyper-sexuality due to a biologically-driven need to propagate humanity. Men are just pigs and women should be able to walk around half-naked without being leered at by creepy men.
Thanks for protecting your family from outside threats. Men are insular and violently hostile to any diversity. Women don’t need protecting!
Thanks for working hard all day to support your family. Successful men are power-hungry and part of the patriarchal tyranny trying to subjugate women.  

Nope, there is no winning when you’re up against a worldview clouded by envy and bitterness.

Envy, thy name is Feminist

Why can’t these angry women come to appreciate men?  (Many feminists love and respect men, but there is a powerful and vocal man-hating minority.) I think a lot of the feminist man-hating is based on envy.  I attempted to watch the movie Ocean’s 8 the other day. It is similar to the other Ocean’s movies except way worse and all the men are replaced by women pretending to be men.  I have never seen such an obvious attempt to rectify a childhood grudge at being rejected from your brother’s boy‘s club. Couldn’t they have come up with their own idea? There is simply an inability of feminists to realize the strength of their own gender and perspective.  Stop envying the lives of men and appreciate the life you could have as a fully-actualized woman!  

The tragedy is the message this “man-hating” sends to our impressionable boys.  Boys are lost; many have no sense of purpose. The now-antiquated notion of men as protectors and bread-winners for their families once gave young men an ideal and a goal. Now, “women can take care of themselves” and fatherhood is downgraded and deemed unnecessary by society. In schools, energetic boys are treated as defective-girls. Ambition and competence are discouraged because it is the girls’ turn. Innocent young boys are asked to accept “male privilege” and take the sins of their patriarchal ancestors on their own heads. We cannot expect boys to find anything but discouragement from our culture. Mothers have to step-up and teach their sons why being a strong man is crucial for the future of mankind.

Who Will Conquer the Man-Hater?

It has to be us.  In an interview with Camille Paglia, proponent of individualist feminism, Jordan Peterson speaks about why it needs to be “sane women” to stand up against their crazy man-hating sisters (clip attached below). Respectful men are often defenseless against the attacks of bitter women. Men taught to respect and value women find it difficult to put up a fight, they would only be seen as betraying their “toxic masculinity. JBP says it is “sane women” who must fight the tide of feminism. Mothers have a vested interest in men’s success so we must be their fiercest defenders.

Mothers get a front row seat on the development of boys and the inner-lives of men.  We get to see what they are really up to. When we raise our own beloved sons we see all men in a different light.  When we see the constant aggression between brothers we look forward to the time they will beat up their sister’s bully.  When we raise teenager boys with raging hormones we gain sympathy for the weight of heightened sexuality in men. When we see our boys intently kicking a soccer ball against the garage after a devastating loss we understand that often men don’t want to talk about their feelings, they need to “work” them out.

We also get the pleasure of seeing our husbands take the role of fathers.  We realize they can give our children things we can’t, or don’t want to. I don’t need to wrestle with my kids on the floor – that is Dad’s job.  I don’t teach my boys math through football scores or to “toughen up” after being pegged by a baseball. Fathers are able to be the calm, stable presence kids need.  When I see my husband make the sacrifices he does – going to work everyday and still coming home and finding time to play with the kids – I love men all the more for quietly doing the grunt work and never demanding much appreciation.  

3556Share the Good-News of Masculinity

Men and boys need mothers help in reaffirming the virtues of masculinity. We need to speak out in defense of men when they are being collectively bashed. We need to inculcate our boys with a sense of purpose. We need to recognize men’s differences and appreciate their strengths. We need to value the unique and irreplaceable role of fathers in our homes. We need to help reaffirm in our culture a love of masculinity in an increasingly man-hating world.  

*Below is a portion of an excellent conversation on gender relations between Dr. Jordan Peterson and scholar and author Camille Paglia.
*I would greatly appreciate you sharing this blog with anyone you think would be interested and follow us on Facebook and Instagram for notification of posts.

https://youtu.be/9euZXgyYixs

13 thoughts on “Moms Versus Man-haters: Jordan Peterson and Motherhood #3

  1. I read your posts just for the artwork . . . And the insights. We both learned to love great works of art sitting in the same art history class with another sibling at BYU. As I recall, I got the better grade. I have also listened to 200 + hours of Dr Petersen. He is a great thinker, but after 200 hours I find your take on him more interesting than listening to him repeat his concepts. It’s like reading Aristotle, after awhile interpretations of Aristotle are more interesting than the original. Your blog is an interpretation of JP from the foxhole of everyday motherhood. Keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL – “I have never seen such an obvious attempt to rectify a childhood grudge at being rejected from your brother’s boy‘s club.” 🙂

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  3. Followed your link from your comment on Dr. Peterson’s Facebook. It is so good to see another mother writing and tackling these issues. I have five (almost six) children; four are boys. It really is so eye opening, having sons, and I’m so thankful for my husband’s guidance in raising them, as it became immediately clear to me that I had no idea what I was doing. 😂 (I only have one sister.) All the best.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Who prohibited women from getting an education, from partaking in public life? Why would anyone do that? Women don’t do stuff like that. And they don’t buy and use weapons, or go around in armies leveling villages, or shooting people in the public streets. Women are the most numerous care-givers, the most numerous voluntary workers. If men gestated the next generation in their bodies, they would privatize pregnancy. Not saying women haven’t got their foibles but women don’t do anywhere near the shit men do.

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    1. Can we stop arguing about who does the most evil or who has it the worst? Suffering is bad, of any kind; causing suffering for one’s own gain or pleasure is evil, no matter who started it.
      In my experience, problems start with a too-narrow focus on certain kinds of good and evil, so that other kinds are devalued and ignored/excused. Example: you mention men’s violence as evil. What about protective strength and even protective violence? If an evil empire is marching through my neighborhood and sending my friends to the gulag or concentration camp, you can bet I want the strongest possible soldiers to get rid of all that. The existence of bad men/masculinity necessitates the existence of good men/masculinity to counteract them.
      Meanwhile, yes, women are very good at caring and volunteer work. The flip side is that we are very good at smothering and enabling laziness in those under our care. We can do tremendous emotional damage and manipulate people behind the scenes. That’s harder to track and quantify than a direct body count, but no less detrimental to the world. Especially if the culture as a whole is telling us we’re right to do it, and the result is a large number of men afraid to even try a relationship with us. The existence of good women/femininity is no excuse for bad women/femininity.
      For many years, the culture asked with Henry Higgins (My Fair Lady), “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?” Now the pressure goes the other way, especially in schools, for men to be more like women. Meanwhile, JP, this fine blogger, and I wonder, “Why can’t men and women appreciate each other for what they are?”

      Liked by 1 person

    2. How many men even in your immediate circle do you honestly know that do things like that? In reality, you talk about a minority of men the world over and unfairly generalize that to all of them. This proves the point made in the original post.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. The men in my life have done none of those things, they strive to be good. You tar all with a very broad brush. Maybe you need to meet a few more men to find the good ones.

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  5. There are two important dimensions to any violence: first, the person(s) who commit the acts and secondly, those who simply keep quiet about the violence – and so imply consent.

    Like many men, I have watched the Women’s Movement s2ince the sixties – first with excitement and full support… and then seeing it deteriorate to subtle (and often very overt) man-bashing. Especially since I work in areas to which gender culture is relevant. over the decades IK have asked many women how they personally feel about seeing men degraded in sitcoms, advertising, educational and public policy, etc.

    Almost to a person, the women I asked quickly tend to state: “Feminism to me is just about equal pay for equal work!” That is, the real trashing of anything masculine seems always to have escaped their notice. Dad the bumbling fool, Dumb-dumb the role-model father, macho-the-contemptible, etc.

    I have long been awaiting the emergence of women who will care to right the *excesses* of feminist rhetoric and opinion-making. And finally… they have arrived!

    The most outspoken and credible seem to be women in their early years – 30’s and 430’s, for example. The ‘New Voice of Woman is impressively well-informed, maintains integrity amidst difficult issues and serves as a true bridge to awaken the best in men and women. Brava! And Thank You!

    As a guest of a very large alternative lifestyle festival, long ago, in NZ, I was walking to the natural amphitheater which held 3-400 people sitting on a soft grassy hill. As I approached, I heard a woman’s voice rise in the PA:” “There’s a war going on – a war between women and men. In case you don’t know it… you’d better catch on soon (paraphrased). It was the speaker who preceded me, a famous figure in the Nataural Birthing movement. I had experienced this aggressive, anti-male attitude when reading her best-selling book. Yet for all the praise she received from the public, no woman I spoke to had noticed any ‘problem’ in her rhetoric.

    My talk that night was on Tantric Sexuality, Conscious Conception, Birth and Beyond – emphasizing especially the enormous potentials for fathers to meet and share what is a true miracle of our existence. Childbirth through Woman. Fathering. Amazing!

    I have been waiting since 1970 for clearer women to rise up to address the imbalance, the disharmony, the competitive ‘noise’ which has so distracted us all from the real needs for a Women’s Movement which brought public awareness to the essential power and magnificence of both feminine and masculine consciousness. It seems to have arrived at last and so we will see our mutual recognition and deeper understanding finally begin to unfold. This article is another breath of good Air.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Wonderful article. One of the most well written, intellectual, and satisfying articles I have read in sometime. These post, if compiled, would make a wonderful book on how modern masculinity and feminism can coincide in a family and society.

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