Disdain for Men Becoming Mainstream
2018 was a bad year for men. The #Metoo movement and Kavanaugh hearings have been bad publicity for masculinity. It seems that “man-hating” has now been normalized. You know it’s a toxic environment for men when a sitting U.S. senator says of recent controversies, “Who is perpetuating all of these kinds of actions? It’s the men in this country. And I just want to say to the men in this country: just SHUT UP and STEP UP, do the right thing for a change.” That’s harsh. Personally, I feel bad for all good guys out there lumped into the “toxic masculinity” category with the likes of Harvey Weinstein.
Looking at my life, I am surrounded by good men who work hard, love their families, and do so with very little recognition. The vast majority of men are just everyday guys who don’t get any glory. Many of the women marching in the streets fail to see the weaknesses of our own sex and the strengths in the opposite. The truth is we are all capable of evil and goodness. The world is not as black-and-white as protesters like to imagine. Boys are hearing a very destructive message in today’s culture.
However, let’s be honest, there are a lot of men falling short and many women have good reason for their prejudice. There are abusive husbands, power-hungry leaders, and shiftless young men. We should not give these men a pass for their failures- and we will discuss the female side of the issue in another post. However, as society becomes increasingly hostile towards men’s natural proclivities and traditional roles, boys take note. Boys who do not feel respected tend to disengage. What we are seeing is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Jordan Peterson is on the front lines. He isn’t simply sympathizing with young men, he is giving them a clear path out of nihilism and self-pity. In one of his Biblical lectures JP emotionally stated, “Its necessary for men to stand up and take responsibility, and they all know that and are starving for that message. And the message is more, that that is a good thing – to stand up and take responsibility. Because now you are cursed from a young age with the notion that you’re part of what is wrong with the world and you’re adding to the tyranny of the social systems…that is soul deadening; its anti-human. My sense is instead, if you were able to reveal the best of yourself in the world then you would be an overwhelming force for good.”
Jordan Peterson’s rise to fame was upon the backs of starving young men. Young men were the first adopters of Petersonian philosophy and they have stayed loyal to him throughout. He is the father-figure many have never had. In interviews he often gets broken-up speaking about the plight of young men in society. This extremely emotional five- minute clip shows his genuine concern for them.
Jordan Peterson is constantly on the defensive about the “patriarchy”. Feminists tend to view him as the leader of the evil gang of men oppressing women at every opportunity. But this is not the way the world works. As JP explains; men and women have had unique roles throughout human history but they have, by and large, worked together to overcome great suffering. Nonetheless, it is difficult for modern feminists, many of whom have not themselves seen a family structure involving good stable men, to shake this idea that all suffering in the world is a result of the oppression of wicked men.
In a GQ interview the feminist interviewer stated, “The patriarchy is a system of male dominance…the fact is that the vast majority of wealth is owned by men, and the vast majority of capital by men.” Jordan Peterson responded, “You are talking about a very tiny proportion of men. (The fact is) a huge proportion of people seriously disaffected are men, most people in prison are men, most people who are on the streets are men, most victims of violent of crime are men, most people who commit suicide are men, most people who die in wars are men, people who do worse at school are men. Where is the dominance here precisely? What you’re doing is taking a tiny substrata of hyper- successful men and using that to represent the entire structure of western society. There is nothing about that that is vaguely appropriate.”
You Hate What you Don’t Understand
JP discusses the most statistically significant differences between genders:
- Men are more interested in ideas and women in people.
- Men are more aggressive and women more agreeable.
- Men are less emotional/neurotic and women tend to be more emotional/neurotic.
I find it fascinating that these main differences are all related to the three most hot-button issues and buzzwords for feminists:
- Patriarchy = Men more interested in ideas (inventing pays more than teaching).
- Toxic Masculinity = Men want respect – and will use aggression to get it – and women want to be loved.
- Rape Culture = Women view sex more emotionally than men and this can cause conflicting expectations/traumatic experiences.
A lot of the anger you see from feminists toward men comes from a lack of understanding of their internal worlds. There is a rampant lack of compassion for men’s unique struggles and a resultant lack of appreciation for their strengths.
Sane Women’s Appreciation vs Men-Hater’s Bitterness
So let’s just take a look at the differing perspectives on men from appreciative wives and mothers versus man-hating feminists seeing evil behind every rock.
Thanks to the millions of men who died in wars to protect our freedom.
It was men who started them; women rulers would usher in utopia.
|Thanks for doing all the manual labor and dangerous jobs that women can’t or don’t want to do.||Girls interests are socially constructed by the patriarchy because men want to keep their “boys club”. If men are stronger it is only because historically they stole all the meat from women (real feminist theory).|
|Sorry for the burden of hyper-sexuality due to a biologically-driven need to propagate humanity.||Men are just pigs and women should be able to walk around half-naked without being leered at by creepy men.|
|Thanks for protecting your family from outside threats.||Men are insular and violently hostile to any diversity. Women don’t need protecting!|
|Thanks for working hard all day to support your family.||Successful men are power-hungry and part of the patriarchal tyranny trying to subjugate women.|
Nope, there is no winning when you’re up against a worldview clouded by envy and bitterness.
Envy, thy name is Feminist
Why can’t these angry women come to appreciate men? (Many feminists love and respect men, but there is a powerful and vocal man-hating minority.) I think a lot of the feminist man-hating is based on envy. I attempted to watch the movie Ocean’s 8 the other day. It is similar to the other Ocean’s movies except way worse and all the men are replaced by women pretending to be men. I have never seen such an obvious attempt to rectify a childhood grudge at being rejected from your brother’s boy‘s club. Couldn’t they have come up with their own idea? There is simply an inability of feminists to realize the strength of their own gender and perspective. Stop envying the lives of men and appreciate the life you could have as a fully-actualized woman!
The saddest part for me is the message all this “man-hating” sends to our impressionable boys. Boys are lost; many have no sense of purpose. JP is out there working hard trying to show these young men that adopting responsibility and trying to improve themselves will give them meaning. Improving the world starts at the level of the individual- man or woman. The now-antiquated notion of men being protectors and bread-winners for their families used to give young men an ideal and a goal. Now, fatherhood is downgraded and deemed unnecessary in society. In schools, boys are treated as “defective girls”. Ambition is squashed in young men because it reeks of the patriarchy and perceived competence is only due to“male privilege”. We cannot expect boys to find anything but discouragement from our culture. Mothers have to step-up and teach their sons why being a strong man is crucial for the salvation of mankind.
Who Will Conquer the Man-Hater?
It has to be us. In an interview with Camille Paglia, proponent of individualist feminism, Jordan Peterson speaks about why it needs to be “sane women” to stand up against their crazy man-hating sisters (clip attached below). Men are simply defenseless against the attacks of bitter women. JP explains that in contentious interactions between men there is always the underlying threat of physicality which keeps men civil with each other but also in positions of respect towards one another. However, in dissension with women, men are unable to use the same methods of discourse because physicality is off the table and even argumentativeness is called “toxic masculinity”. When Trump calls a woman “a dog” it just feels worse than when he says a man is “dumb as a rock”. JP says it is “sane women” who must fight the tide of feminism. Mothers have a vested interest in men’s success so we must be their fiercest defenders.
Mothers get a front row seat on the development of boys and the inner-lives of men. We get to see what they are really up to. When we raise our own beloved sons we see all men in a different light. When we see the constant aggression between brothers we look forward to the time they will beat up their sister’s bully. When we raise teenager boys with raging hormones we gain sympathy for the weight of heightened sexuality in men. When we see our boys intently kicking a soccer ball against the garage after a devastating loss we understand that often men don’t want to talk about their feelings, they need to “work” them out.
We also get the pleasure of seeing our husbands take the role of fathers. We realize they can give our children things we can’t, or don’t want to. I have no desire to wrestle with my kids on the floor – that is Dad’s job. I don’t teach my boys math through football scores or to “toughen up” after being pegged by a baseball. Fathers are able to be the calm, stable presence kids need. When I see my husband make the sacrifices he does – going to work everyday and still coming home and finding time to play with the kids – I love men all the more for quietly doing the grunt work and never demanding much appreciation.
Share the Good-News of Masculinity
Men and boys need mothers help in reaffirming the virtues of masculinity. We need to speak out in defense of men when they are being collectively bashed. We need to inculcate our boys with a sense of purpose. We need to recognize men’s differences and appreciate their strengths. We need to value the unique and irreplaceable role of fathers in our homes. We need to help reaffirm in our culture a love of masculinity in an increasingly man-hating world.